i don't like grown up choices. I don't like choosing between ice cream and rent. I don't like the idea that all my worldly possessions will be here tomorrow and that means i really live somewhere.  i don't like that i have to decide hard things...and that those choices make me feel bad.

 

i also don't like that its cold again, that my parents are far away or that the chair got rained on b/c we left it out over night (its summer darnit) or that my final is in two weeks already and that means this weekend is the last one i get to enjoy until august.  i don't like that i always lose to people while i am teaching them to play backgammon.

When i was 13, i moved to BC from North Carolina. From the time i was a little kid, i loved the wicked southern thunderstorms that pop up every afternoon with thunder that rattles the house and beautiful lightening. I loved the storms so much that i would watch endless programs on TV about them.  Upon arrival in BC, i discovered the Pacific Northwest is devoid of my beloved storms. How droll. My parents promptly sent me a CD of thunderstorms, which i used to fall asleep or to calm down if i was stressed.

 

Now, 14 years later, I've moved back to the Pacific Northwest and once again discovered the rarity of the storms. However, last night, as i sat outside close to midnight, there was a beautiful lightening storm over Bainbridge Island. It lasted longer than i sat outside with its orange tinted sky to ground lightening streaking every few minutes out of the blackness.  I felt contented--went to bed reassured that Seattle didn't suck. 

 

Then--to my utter amazement and delight--i was jolted awake at 4 am by what i could have sworn was lightening. Just as i was convincing myself that it was only a dream--a deep rumble started somewhere in the sky and there was a huge crack of thunder. I lay there in amazement at my good fortune (thunder comes in single claps here).  Lo and Behold, there was another flash of lightening and 7 seconds later (i counted like you do down south to tell distance of the storm) another huge clap of thunder. there must have been 4 or 5 of them before it sounded like a torrential downpour and i--thoroughly calmed and at peace--drifted back off (only to be awoken by Derick's pre-alarm call . Gotta love friends on the east coast). :) YAY THUNDERSTORM.

 

School is good. So far the balancing act is working. phew. for all those sending good juju, keep it up!

Inspired by Dus's list  i decided to write my own.

1. i love that it is 97 in Seattle...maybe there's hope for global warming yet

2. i love that its this hot and the mountain stream water is still ICE cold on your feet when you hike.

3. i'm still waiting for this law school thing to collapse around me---but day by day i feel smarter and more on top of it than my classmates, which either makes me a genius or just really arrogant.

4. i don't really care which of the two i am--so long as i get better than a C in this class.

5. Then again, Cs mean you still get to be a lawyer, so maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

6. There are some people's hugs who i would trade all of this for in an instant.

7. i've dicovered i can't survive on bubbletea alone.

8. yes i did try for like a week--and it was tasty and now i am eating lots of protein to make up for it.

9. Law and Order is a great study tool for my crim law class.

10. i've realized that being physically stationary (no imminent move in the air) really scares me--more than the schedule and stress of work and school.

11. i hate not being able to see the people i care about often enough...it sucks and i feel like i lost a toe or something.

12. my childhood friends (teenage-years friends, whatever) are some of the funniest people i know. I am still laughing thinking about nayyer in the fenced in area.  Perhaps its funny to no one but us--now i remember why i loved high school.

13. Those same folks--they always have and always will be family to me.

14. when i heard my sister fractured her something or other and had a neon green cast--it made me want to fly to Atlanta to poke and antagonize her. When does the sibling rivalry ever get old? does it ever get old? am i eventually going to not want to tease/torment her?

15. i am a hopeless romantic--who frequently gets accused of being the opposite.

16. i have had my heartbroken enough to know it will mend itself sooner or later and i shouldn't be angry about it.

17. maybe vindictive, but not angry ;)

18. i choose my friends b/c they are honest, real and loyal. they can tell you why you suck and still be your biggest fan all in the same breath.

19. i know--deep down from some place i dont' understand--that i am in the right place for me, doing the right things, making the efforts i can...and that's enough to get by.

This is my extended family in NC (minus derick, but his mama's in there, so close enough) with my parents while they were home.